D-Unit Squads Up: Insert Lame Pistons Pun Here

I wouldn't know an Antonio McDyess if if bit me in the ass.

So I'm hoping one never does, as I have a very sensitive ass; and so I also cannot say the same thing many are saying, which is "O the Pistons they're gonna be so much better this year O man McDyess blah blah Darko after one year in the league hoody-hoo mama". Which, if you think about it, is a pretty stupid thing for many to be saying. Makes no sense.

And you know what else doesn't make sense, TRANSITION ERROR PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER Okay, fine. But I still don't know why a lot of people don't really seem convinced by what they're saying out loud. I can count on my three hands the number of people I've read that have gone on for days and weeks and months and almost over a year about the Pistons, only to end up picking the Heat because they have Shaquille O'Neilsen Ratings. As Jinx the Cat says, "Har har, it is to laugh." I'd pick Detroit over Miami in a heartbeat, because they already just beat Shaq on a better team, and because the Heat is rolling three deep AT MOST and I can't remember one of 'em.

And Detwah didn't just beat L.A., okay, they gave them the good old Viva La Sabat. (Second "Pixie and Dixie" reference, must post picture. Scuse me.)


No, it's pretty clear that it's Detroit's conference to lose; but they will, and it's going to be to whatever team runs the Detroit style of 2004 better in 2005. Yeah, those Wallaces are gonna complement each other's strengths (and compliment each other, much like Pixie and Dixie always did) e'en better than be'efore, and Chauncey is gonna be Chauncey, and we always loved that whole whisper-thin William Powell/Myrna Loy groove settled into by Tayshaun and Rip.

But come on, this whole "we love to play as a team," no stars, hard-working defense-minded athlete thing is just not a new development. I see Indiana doing this better this year, because they have a new Johnson they never had before; I see my Bucks doing this, although not in the same echelon; we got Cleveland in the same mold too. And I think that the Pistons' karma from last year will find some kind of breakdown, and I'm not sure that Larry B (despite his hot wife) will find the mojo this year. I mean, Darvin Ham? Lindsey Hunter? They're less bench-solid than they were last year, there will be more scrutiny of them so less under-radar-slippage, all that. I pick them #2 in their conference and they lose the championships in 6 games and whoever they lose to goes on to lose in 6 in the Finals.

Who they lose to, I still haven't figured out. But I won't lie to you: Detroit's powerful, but they're no dynasty. And neither were the Lakers.

I hope I'm wrong; I love Rasheeeeeed-Unit. I've been moved to inappropriate workplace swearage over this issue, but let me say it once and plainly: R.Wallace gets jobbed by the officials, he was right about the league's hunger for young dudes, he was right that David Stern makes a healthy sum -- it's like, duh, he's the commish, but it's still true -- and he was right that he could be the glue to hold a team together on its bad days.

This year, Detroit will have more bad days than last year's team. Nevertheless, they'll still be a very good team that just won't be good enough, because the copy is always better than the original. Damn.

Wow, check this out: Jinx was actually Stacey Koons!: